The End.

Alright, trying to keep up with this gambling blog thing was way too much work and not worth it. Don’t get me wrong, I love having the numbers, but putting it all on a blog is just a step too many. I think I’ll just leave it at my Excel document. You won’t hear from me again until the end of 2014 when I give you the run-down. Here’s my run-down for 2013…

Grand Gambling Total for 2013: $-649.09.

Some superlatives…

  • The best I did wagering on sports was accepting Chlope’s NCAA football wagers blindly: +$383.
  • The worst I did wagering on sports was betting the spread on NFL games, which is crazy because I won my pick’em league this year by choosing the correct side of the spread 82.3% of the time. Had I only put my money where my mouth was I wouldn’t have ended up: -$126.90.
  • The sit’n’go I played the most this year—83 times—was a $20 double-up. Ten people play, the top five players double their money. I finished in the top five 51.8% of the time, but because of the $1.60 fee to play each game, I lost $72.80 on the game over the course of a year.
  • My most profitable sit’n’go was a six-handed $10 super-turbo, which I only played four times, but I won twice, which resulted in a net profit of: $39.76.
  • The best finish I had in a regular poker tournament this year came when I finished 1st of 270 entrants in a $3 no limit holdem tournament online, which resulted in a net profit of: +$194.34.
  • I finished first in only one other tournament—a $10 tournament with 44 players.
  • My worst regular tournament finish came when I finished 109th of 109 players in a $5 tournament.
  • On average, I finished in the 48th percentile of regular tournaments this year.
  • My best game this year was online hearts, where I averaged a $23.35 profit every time I sat down to the table. I sat down 83 times.
  • My worst game was blackjack, where I lost an average of $70.33 every time I sat down. I sat down nine times.

See you in a year.

New Year’s Eve, alone, in Tunica.

Roulette: +$35.

Slots: -$78.

Mississippi Stud: -$100.

Roulette: -$200.

$4/8 Limit Holdem: -$200.

With only $10 left in my wallet, I began to leave the casino, but then I remembered I had a $10 coupon good for free table play. I didn’t buy in with the $10 because I didn’t want to lose it. I merely sat down to play with the free money the casino had given me. Of course, I get two eights against the dealers seven. I pull the $10 from my wallet and split the eights. I end up with two eighteens. The dealer hits to a 20. Blackjack: -$10.

Recent Casino Trip Total: -$553.

2013 Lottery Total: -$139.

2013 Wagers Total: +$427.53.

2013 Tables Total: -$937.57.

NFL.

Final Wagers of the Year. For the first time all season, I took a betting expert’s advice on all these, going the exact opposite of how I felt on EVERY SINGLE GAME. Missed. Terrible way to close the year.

$5.27—Falcons to score first (+190). Lost.

$10—Falcons +6.5 (+230). Lost.

$10.50—Browns +7.5.

$11—49ers/Falcons Under 46.5. Lost.

Bills +8. Lost.

Ravens +6.5. Lost.

$22—Jaguars +11. Lost.

Parlays—$10

Broncos (-600), 49ers (-700) & Saints (+145). Lost.

Broncos (-600), 49ers (-700) & Cowboys -3. Lost.

Broncos (-600), 49ers (-700) & Jaguars (+180). Lost.

Broncos (-600), 49ers (-700) & Lions (-475). Lost.

$20—Broncos (-600), 49ers (-700) & Steelers (-105). Paid $32.06.

$25—49ers (-850) & Eagles -7.5. Lost.

Recent NFL Wagers: -$133.71.

2013 Lottery Total: -$139.

2013 Wagers Total: +$427.53.

2013 Tables Total: -$384.57.

Home Games.

We’ve started playing an altered version of Chinese Poker we’re calling Closed-Face: -$100

Closed-Face: +$50

Closed-Face: +$140

Recent Home Game Total: +$90.

2013 Lottery Total: -$139.

2013 Wagers Total: +$561.24.

2013 Tables Total: -$384.57.

Fantasy Football.

I bet Wig $5 that a fumble costs one fantasy point. Paid $5.

Fantasy Football—

"VIP" league: -$250. Finished 3rd of 5.

"Bros in Different Area Codes" league: -$50. Finished 8th of 12.

"Beebe Football" league: Paid $35. Finished 1st of 8.

Eliminator: +$125.

Pick’em: +$100.

Fantasy Football total: -$35.

2013 Lottery Total: -$139.

2013 Wagers Total: +$561.24.

2013 Tables Total: -$474.57.

$5+.50 Six-handed Tournament. 109/109. Damn. AJ vs QQ. I caught my Ace, he caught his Queen.
$10+1 PLO H/L8 Regular Tourney. 8/10.
$10+1 Regular Tourney (Reentries: 2 $33 Total Paid). 105/348.
$0.10/0.25 NL Cash Game. -$50.
$0.05/0.10 NL Cash Game. -$30.
$4.95+.55 Nine-handed SnG. 5/9.
$10+1 Regular Tourney. 79/554. Paid $18.28.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 5/6.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 4/6.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 4/6.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 1/6. Paid $20.25.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 3/6.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 3/6.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 5/6.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 5/6.
$20.05+.95. Six-handed Super-turbo. 6/6.
$10.48+.52. Six-handed Super-turbo. 4/6.
$10.48+.52. Six-handed Super-turbo. 1/6. Paid $40.88.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 2/6. Paid $10.89.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 5/6.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 1/6. Paid $20.25.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 5/6.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 1/6. Paid $20.25.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 2/6. Paid $10.89.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 1/6. Paid $20.25.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 5/6.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 1/6. Paid $20.25.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 6/6.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 1/6. Paid $20.25.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 4/6.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 4/6.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 6/6.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 2/6. Paid $10.89. PHOTO: All-in, pre-flop.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 4/6.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 4/6. (PHOTO) All-in, pre-flop, couldn’t gone better.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 3/6.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 2/6. Paid $10.89.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 1/6. Paid $20.25.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 2/6. Paid $10.89.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 2/6. Paid $10.89.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 4/6.
$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 5/6.
$10.48+.52. Six-handed Super-turbo. 4/6.
Recent Online Poker Total: -$109.75.
2013 Lottery Total: -$139.
2013 Wagers Total: +$596.24.
2013 Tables Total: -$474.57.

$5+.50 Six-handed Tournament. 109/109. Damn. AJ vs QQ. I caught my Ace, he caught his Queen.

$10+1 PLO H/L8 Regular Tourney. 8/10.

$10+1 Regular Tourney (Reentries: 2 $33 Total Paid). 105/348.

$0.10/0.25 NL Cash Game. -$50.

$0.05/0.10 NL Cash Game. -$30.

$4.95+.55 Nine-handed SnG. 5/9.

$10+1 Regular Tourney. 79/554. Paid $18.28.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 5/6.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 4/6.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 4/6.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 1/6. Paid $20.25.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 3/6.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 3/6.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 5/6.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 5/6.

$20.05+.95. Six-handed Super-turbo. 6/6.

$10.48+.52. Six-handed Super-turbo. 4/6.

$10.48+.52. Six-handed Super-turbo. 1/6. Paid $40.88.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 2/6. Paid $10.89.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 5/6.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 1/6. Paid $20.25.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 5/6.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 1/6. Paid $20.25.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 2/6. Paid $10.89.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 1/6. Paid $20.25.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 5/6.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 1/6. Paid $20.25.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 6/6.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 1/6. Paid $20.25.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 4/6.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 4/6.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 6/6.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 2/6. Paid $10.89. PHOTO: All-in, pre-flop.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 4/6.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 4/6. (PHOTO) All-in, pre-flop, couldn’t gone better.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 3/6.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 2/6. Paid $10.89.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 1/6. Paid $20.25.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 2/6. Paid $10.89.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 2/6. Paid $10.89.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 4/6.

$5.19+.31 Six-handed Super-turbo. 5/6.

$10.48+.52. Six-handed Super-turbo. 4/6.

Recent Online Poker Total: -$109.75.

2013 Lottery Total: -$139.

2013 Wagers Total: +$596.24.

2013 Tables Total: -$474.57.

getoutofthisplace:

I seriously had not planned on not winning the $600 million in the Mega Millions tonight.
Little Rock, Arkansas. 12.17.2013.

Recent Mega Millions/PowerBall Total: Lost $23.
2013 Lottery Total: -$139.
2013 Wagers Total: +$596.24.
2013 Tables Total: -$364.82.

getoutofthisplace:

I seriously had not planned on not winning the $600 million in the Mega Millions tonight.

Little Rock, Arkansas. 12.17.2013.

Recent Mega Millions/PowerBall Total: Lost $23.

2013 Lottery Total: -$139.

2013 Wagers Total: +$596.24.

2013 Tables Total: -$364.82.

getoutofthisplace:

This dude’s rolling through South Memphis in his old Mercedes station wagon with home-made signs taped to his window that say “KEEP YOUR PANTS UP!! WITH RESPECT AND A BELT.” I’m having a hard time seeing what’s on the opposite sheet, but I think it’s instructions on how to keep your pants up. Best of luck to him. And also to me, as I’m on my way to the casino.
Memphis, Tennessee. 11.1.2013.

Tunica updates—
Bonus Holdem: +$100.
Mini-Baccarat: -$99.25.
Video Poker: +$7.50
Slots: -$138.
Jank: -$311.
Roulette: -$100.
Slots: -$100.
Jank: -$100.
Roulette: -$200.
"Recent" Casino Play: -$940.75. I’ve been avoiding this update. I knew it was going to be bad. I probably played a little recklessly because I knew I was up on the year and coming down the stretch, which is exactly why I should have played it a little more conservatively.
2013 Lottery Total: -$116.
2013 Wagers Total: +$596.24.
2013 Tables Total: -$364.82.

getoutofthisplace:

This dude’s rolling through South Memphis in his old Mercedes station wagon with home-made signs taped to his window that say “KEEP YOUR PANTS UP!! WITH RESPECT AND A BELT.” I’m having a hard time seeing what’s on the opposite sheet, but I think it’s instructions on how to keep your pants up. Best of luck to him. And also to me, as I’m on my way to the casino.

Memphis, Tennessee. 11.1.2013.

Tunica updates—

Bonus Holdem: +$100.

Mini-Baccarat: -$99.25.

Video Poker: +$7.50

Slots: -$138.

Jank: -$311.

Roulette: -$100.

Slots: -$100.

Jank: -$100.

Roulette: -$200.

"Recent" Casino Play: -$940.75. I’ve been avoiding this update. I knew it was going to be bad. I probably played a little recklessly because I knew I was up on the year and coming down the stretch, which is exactly why I should have played it a little more conservatively.

2013 Lottery Total: -$116.

2013 Wagers Total: +$596.24.

2013 Tables Total: -$364.82.

Worth noting in the screenshot: They have a button to double your bet. They hope you run that negative progressive system at them. They aren’t afraid of it. And because of that, I’m going to go a solid year without sitting down at this table again. It’s terrifying.
Online Blackjack: +$0.50.
Online Blackjack: +$2.
Recent Online Blackjack: +$2.50.
2013 Lottery Total: -$116.
2013 Wagers Total: +$596.24.
2013 Tables Total: +$575.93.

Worth noting in the screenshot: They have a button to double your bet. They hope you run that negative progressive system at them. They aren’t afraid of it. And because of that, I’m going to go a solid year without sitting down at this table again. It’s terrifying.

Online Blackjack: +$0.50.

Online Blackjack: +$2.

Recent Online Blackjack: +$2.50.

2013 Lottery Total: -$116.

2013 Wagers Total: +$596.24.

2013 Tables Total: +$575.93.

NFL.

I’m behind, so this is going to be disorganized, but I’m going to catch up.

$10—Ravens (+205). Paid $20.50.

Redskins (+210). Lost.

Jaguars (+120). Lost.

$10.50—Bengals -1. Lost.

$11—Cowboys -6.5. Lost.

Colts -5.5. Paid $10.

$11.50—Saints -6.5. Lost.

$15—Saints. Lost.

$20—Cowboys to win. Lost.

$22—49ers -5.5. Paid $20.

Chiefs -6. Paid $20.

$25—49ers -6. Paid $25.

$33—Panthers -10.5. Lost.

$55—Seahawks -7.5. Paid $50.

Parlays—$23.26: Lost.

Props—Unknown +$20.

NFL Catch-up: +$21.24.

2013 Lottery Total: -$116.

2013 Wagers Total: +$596.24.

2013 Tables Total: +$573.43.